Hard Work

I absolutely LOVE being a mom. I am blessed with the opportunity to stay at home and raise our two sweet angels. God says that children are a gift and I truly believe that. I will never forget the day I became a mother. I knew our lives would change and there would be trials, but I never knew how much or how many. How much I could love someone I had known for a few brief moments. How my heart felt like it was going to explode with love when I looked at those sweet faces. And how much my heart could hurt when they were hurting. And my gifts are only 2 and 5. I have a LONG way to go and I am sure this isn't going to be last post where I declare that parenting is hard work, but this gig is HARD!

There are many things I believe as a parent (and teacher, from my prior life, pre-kids) and I am going to spare you from reading about all of those, but two that really apply to tonight's lesson are that a child will take as many chances as you are willing to give them and you MUST follow through with what you say. Good and bad. Your kids need to know that what you say is truth. It starts young. It builds a foundation that I believe will carry them through life. They learn to depend on you or be let down by you. They learn to trust in what you say and in what you do. If you say you are going to do something and then you don't do it (either in discipline or in fun) they wonder if your word is good. I think that this leads to the teenage/young adult years as well. You set the foundation, and they learn to trust the things that you say. If they know they can count on you and trust what you have to say, they may put a bit more stock into what us crusty old adults have to say and a bit less into what their peers may say. Let's hope that works out for us. :)

Oftentimes, you hear parents ask, "Why do I have to tell you a thousand (insert appropriate number here) times to.......?" The answer is because you tell them a thousand times. If you tell them over and over again with no (or late) consequences, they learn they don't have to do what you say. Or at least right away. When you count to three you give them three chances to obey before you punish them. You usually have to punish them, so why waste your breath, time, and energy by giving them chance after chance? For the most part, we are pretty good about following through with what we say. Our kids know that we mean what we say, but every once in a while we slip up and forget to follow through on something that we threatened. We certainly aren't perfect, but we try very hard to follow through with what we say and are usually pretty good about it. One thing that we aren't so good about is saying things one time. In my teaching days I called it first time listening and carried that over to my parenting. Kaity gets it and many times she responds to those words, but there are some things I find myself saying over and over and over. Pick up your clothes, pick up your toys, pick up your shoes, clear your dishes, pick up your toys. Oh, did I already say that one? Really, child? This isn't new, we do it every day. Why do we have to keep telling you? Oh wait, I already addressed that...because we keep telling you. This leads me to my real story.

I started a new bible study this week and I think it is going to be a great study. Most of the stuff are things we are really good at doing and come naturally for me and have either come naturally for Bill or have been picked up easily by him. Showing affection to your spouse (and kids) and letting your kids see it , respecting your spouse and your children, creating a safe environment, encouraging each other and allowing a safe place for them to succeed and to fail. Giving them the opportunity to make their own choices and to learn from those experiences. You get the picture. Our pastor's wife and study leader challenged us to focus on one thing we needed to do this week and I chose to say it once. First time listening as I call it. I was challenged to say it once and walk away. Man is that a hard one. Especially for me. Letting go and letting stuff lay around the house until I could use it as a teaching moment. Last night it was really effective with Kaitlyn. Here's how it went down.

Mommy: Kaitlyn, please pick up your room. Put your books, toys, and clothes away.

Kaitlyn: It's too hard! (continues to play with her brother and not pick up)

About 30 minutes later, after letting our baby house guest play with our beach toys in the bathtub.

Kaitlyn: Mommy, can Ryan and I play with the beach toys in the bath?

Mommy: Oh, honey, I'm sorry. That would be great, but you didn't pick up your room as I asked you to do.

Kaitlyn: Okay Mommy, I'll pick it all up and then can I play with it in the bath? (No whining at all and just ran in to do it).

Mommy: Sure if you do it correctly (not shoving it) and there is enough time.

Sure enough, the job got done and I didn't have to ask more than once. Score one for Mommy! Unfortunately, this didn't work so well for Ryan and he had to take a boring shower with no toys. There were tears, but he got over it and I was hoping he learned. I think it is a combination of the differences in both their ages and their personalities.

Today was a different story. I asked them to pick up their toys before we left the house this morning and no one picked up their toys. We didn't get to go to the park this morning and they didn't have a friend over this afternoon (plans fell through, but I used it to make a point), and they didn't get to go to the park this afternoon either. They didn't do it for the bath with the beach toys. Nothing. Ugh. What's a mom to do? I was tired of looking at toys all over the floor and with out of town guests coming for dinner tomorrow I couldn't let it stay out in the living room all weekend and into the next week until they finally got the picture that we weren't doing anything for them until they did as they were asked. The first time with no nagging and no threatening. I finally lost my patience and got out the timer and the trash bag. Taking toys away and putting them up in our closet hasn't made a difference. I set the timer for 45 minutes and told them that whatever wasn't picked up was going in the trash bag. Kaity worked pretty hard and even encouraged her brother to pick up, but at the end of the 45 minutes the place didn't look much better. And is wasn't THAT bad to start with. 45 minutes was enough time to get it done and I really thought it would get done, but it wasn't done. When the timer went off I prayed for the strength to follow through because I knew it would be hard. True to my word I started filling the bag while listening to the sounds of a crying and pleading little girl and her brother. Many of their favorite toys ended up in that bag. Favorite baby dolls, stuffed animals, pony and pet shop accessories, socks, a swim suit, McQueen cars, trucks, train tracks and trains. When I finished I had two and a half of those big clear recycling bags. I think it made it worse that they could see what was in there. I had tears in my eyes and was trying to speak in a calm voice, holding out my hand and asking for the things they tried to "save" from the trash. Kaity kept saying that maybe the trash guys would see it and know it wasn't trash and bring it back to her. Nevermind that we live in an apartment complex with at least 14 buildings, with 18-24 floors per building, and 4 apartments to each of those floors. It broke my heart to see her in so much pain, grasping for every last straw she could think of. The one sweet thing that came of it is that in the midst of all of her sadness, Kaity went over to her sobbing brother, wrapped her arms around him, and tried to comfort him. I left the kids in the apartment and loaded up the trash bags in the trunk of the car. I will give them their toys back, but only after I am sure they have learned from this and are following the 1st time listening rule, but I didn't tell them that. I let them think their toys are gone and I feel terrible. I choked back tears in the crowded elevator wishing I could explain to all the Koreans why I had 3 bags of perfectly good toys in trash bags and cried on the way back up. Tears streamed down my face while I explained to Kaitlyn why I had to take her toys away. Why it was my job to teach her and how it made me sad to see her so sad. It was so hard to follow through and took every bit of strength God gave me to do it, but it is done and I pray that it makes a difference tomorrow (and 10 years from now).

A brief side note...I love my husband! As I was writing the last sentence, he came home after a brief stop at the O'Club to celebrate the end of an exercise week with the guys. He walks into our bedroom where I am in bed blogging, apologizes for being late, and asks me how my day was. I start tearing up and tell him that I had a rough night and filled three trash bags with toys. His response..."Did you throw them in the canal?" I couldn't help but laugh and the tears were gone as I remember the threat I so often heard my dad say. Love you Dad, and I almost believe that it hurt you as much as it hurt me. ;-)

Seoul Grand Park Zoo

The day before we went to the Strawberry Festival, a bunch of gals and their kids went to the Zoo at Seoul Grand Park. The weather was gorgeous and I was in desperate need of some Vitamin D! I have found that living in Korea, I have had to adjust my standards, and now I think sunny and 50 is gorgeous and the 60s have brought out the flops where in the past this Florida girl hid her toes at anything less than 70! First I have to say that I was impressed. At this point, I had only visited one other Korean attraction, the Jeongju Zoo, while we were visiting Bill in Kunsan. The zoo was cheap and a good day out, but it wasn't nice. The habitats were small and smelly and it made me sad for the animals. The lion's roar from the cages you couldn't see was depressing. But, the company was great, the kids were happy, and we were happy to be outdoors in the winter in Korea. I never blogged this, but the pictures are in our photo gallery if you are interested in seeing them. This was not the case with the zoo in Seoul. Everything was clean, the habitats were wonderful, the exhibits were interesting, and much of it was in English! The zoo rivaled those that we have seen in the States and was really nice.

We had a great day letting the kids set the pace and just be kids. There was so much that we didn't see, so we will definitely be going back (the entrance fee is so cheap, which is a huge bonus!), but the kids had a great time and it was so refreshing to be strolling in the park with the sun on our faces, just soaking up the rays. I think the funniest thing of the day was that of all the things they could have done at the zoo, they all beelined for a giant pile of leaves and dove right in! The damage was already done, so we just let 'em play and tried not to think off all the grossness of Korea hiding in there.

On a side note, I think the slide show is going to be my best bet for sharing pictures and being able to blog. Uploading individual pictures is time consuming and this way you get to see all the pictures, unless you are viewing this from facebook and then you get nothin'. So, to fix this just click on view original post to see the slideshow. If the slideshow is too much for you to follow or you need to see bigger pictures (mostly grandma and grandpa), you can view them in the photo gallery through the link on the top right of the blog column. Enjoy!

Everland

Thursday I took the kids to Everland with some friends to check it out. I have wanted to go since we got here, but it just hasn't worked out until now. The closest thing I can compare Everland to in the States is Disney, but it's not quite right. Anyone who has ever spent any time in South Korea can tell you that is kind of a theme here. One day I am going to write a post on all things "not quite right," but today I am going to tell you about our trip to Everland. It is kind of a combination of a few of the parks at Disney World, but on a much smaller scale. It is still huge, and awesome, and has a different theme every couple of months. This month's theme was the tulip festival. Oh my, were they gorgeous! I had lots of fun taking pictures and was able to capture a few great shots, even with the kids running around. Wish I could have gotten them still by the tulips for some good shots, but I'll have to try that again another day. Not at nap time.

We entered the park and got some pictures with the major characters of Everland under the tree of life (sound familiar?) and then headed to Africa to start the zoo part of our adventure. As we walked through the exhibits, we came across a bird habitat and a zoo worker selling packets of birdseed for 1,000 won (less than a dollar), so handed my kids some money and they bought a packet of bird food. Both kids were very excited about feeding the birds (yes, even Ryan, but wait for it) and I filled their chubby little hands with tasty little morsels for the birdies. Kaity reached up and the birds started fluttering towards her, landed in her hand, and chowed down. You can tell by her expression that she was delighted. Our tender hearted, sweet, caring child with a passion for all animals. Our future veterinarian. She would have stayed here all day had I given her 20,000 won and left her. Tempting, but we eventually moved on.

Ryan is getting braver every day and he boldly walked up to the tree and stuck his skinny little arm out trying to get the birds to land on his hand. He stood there for several minutes with no action (I think his hand was still a little close to his body for the birds' comfort and much lower than where they were usually fed). Finally the zookeeper man brought some birds to him and I wish I could have captured the look on Ryan's face when he felt the bird land on his hand. Thank God those birds' wings weren't clipped because Ryan screamed and cried, throwing birdseed (and bird) everywhere, startling the bird as much as the bird startled him. The look I did capture was the one he gave me after I asked if he wanted to try again. Ha!

We worked our way through the exhibits where he quickly forgot about the bird trauma, had lunch, saw a few more animals and were off to ride some rides.

We walked through the park to see all the tulips and ended up in an area with a beautiful waterfall and fountain. In the summer they turn it into a splash pad. This was the most relaxing part of the whole trip, as we didn't have to corral any kids. They just ran and climbed and played. At one point we see the two littlest ones (Ryan and Anna Grace) who appeared to be in the water at the other end of the area. I start running towards them (stopping only to take a picture) and arrived to find them sitting on a ledge just above the water. Whew! They were a little wet, but dried quickly.

The next little area of the park took us all the way to Holland where the tulips were in full bloom. I can't say enough about the beauty of these flowers. The colors were so vivid you would have thought the flowers were fake or that I enhanced the pictures. Truly incredible. We ended our day with a train ride around the tulip garden and a few more pictures. It was a great day with great company!

Check out the slideshow below of the best pictures from our day. If it has already stopped playing just click on the play button and it will start over so you can see them all.

Gwacheon National Science Museum

This week is spring break for the public schools, so there are a lot of people at Osan trying to entertain their kids. While this doesn't make much of a difference in our day since we are homeschooling, many of my friends who are not usually available for day trips are this week because they don't have to be home to pick up kids just after 2. And most need to get their kids OUT of the apartments! A friend in the squadron organized a trip to an awesome science museum in Seoul. I have to say, I was really impressed! The exhibits were wonderful (would have been better in English, but next time we will rent the PDA in English to tell us a bit more about the exhibits). Today was just for the kids though and they didn't care that it was all in Hangul. The museum was busy with Korean field trippers, but we owned the place for the first hour or so. There were a dozen moms and their kids there and even a couple dads. There was so much to see, I don't think we saw half of it in the 4 hours we were there! They had a lot of hands-on stuff for the kids and everyone had a great time. We saw a dancing robot show and a 3-D animated show in Korean about a whale mommy and her baby who was captured by a giant squid and taken to the squid king and queen's lair. The mommy whale was on a mission with the help of some other weird sea creatures to rescue the baby. There were no subtitles, but naturally, we added our own English story line to follow the show. The film was very reminiscent of Finding Nemo. All of this for 4,000 won, or about $3.70 depending on today's exchange rate. That was for all three of us!

One of the things that impresses me about this country is their work ethic. Sometimes I think they work too hard. This is evident in the lives of the children who go to school all day, then go meet with an English tutor or go to an English class and are only on the playgrounds on the weekends, sometimes only on Sundays. It is also common for the Korean children to go to English school where they are taught their subjects in English. The job market in Korea is very competitive and their future often depends on whether or not they speak English. Many of the field trippers today had two teachers. One (usually a Canadian) teaching them in English and the other a Korean National speaking Korean. It was cool to see how the Korean English schools operated. As usual, the Korean kids enjoyed the Americans at the museum as well. They were photographed and doted on. Some turned really shy, some were a little weirded out (upper elementary/middle school boys kept telling some of the little guys in our group that they loved them-I think they were just practicing the English they knew, not trying to be creepy), and others loved the attention. It was cute to watch their different little personalities come out in unique and strange situations.

Sorry folks, no pictures with this post, but if you are interested in seeing where we went, here's the website for the Gwacheon National Science Museum. While I remembered to bring the camera, I left the memory card in the computer after dumping our last few outings last night. Fortunately a friend was kind enough to take a few pictures of the kids for me. I'll add them when I get them and get a moment.

Strawberry Festival

It's been a while since I blogged, especially with pictures that aren't a part of someone else's recipes and many of you are itching for pictures of the kids. While Bill has been working hard, Kim and the kids have been exploring Korea. Hopefully we will get all of our adventures up here soon, but here is our most recent. A few weeks ago, I got to go to the commissary by myself and the store was having a strawberry sale. After sampling and grabbing some to take home, the store manager began telling me about an upcoming trip to the Nonsan Strawberry Festival through the commissary. The trip was entirely free and limited to 40 people. Always up for an adventure, especially with locals who know my language, I signed the kids and myself up for the trip. Then I went home and researched the festival. Apparently, people come from all over to attend this annual event and we were no exception! We thought we would just be going to the festival where we would be picking strawberries, grabbing a bite of Korean food, and doing festival stuff. Our day was much different than expected, but in a great way. Turns out that one of the local produce suppliers sponsored this trip for us and took us on an adventure.

Our little Strawberry Shortcake

We climbed aboard a bus and made the two and a half hour drive to the strawberry farm where we picked strawberries from inside a greenhouse. Man was that a hot experience! About five minutes after we started picking strawberries, Kaitlyn attracted the attention of a local news crew covering the story. The reporter began interviewing her and, while at first she was quite shy, she did a great job answering the lady's questions clearly after a little reassurance from Mom.

Our TV star

He has gotten so big.

But still has chubby little baby hands.

Our next stop was at a traditional Korean restaurant. We took off our shoes and gathered on the floor around the table to take part in a traditional Korean lunch. The food was very good and definitely NOT American.

The weirdest thing on the table for someone who grew up catching and eating fish in America, was the way the fish here was served. Whole...on a plate. I was planning on shying away from this fish as I have done in the past, but have taught my children well and they wanted to try it. Fortunately, a nice gal on the trip whose mom is Korean showed me how to debone the fish and separate the eating from the not eating. The kids loved it and I got to try my newfound skill on fishy number 2.

As mentioned above, we really try to get our kids to try new things and they usually oblige. I also get a lot more food in my hand here than I ever have before. :) Sometimes they even take it upon themselves to try something new. This was certainly the case when I saw Ryan spitting into the dish with the red chili sauce. As I got onto him for spitting in the dish that was meant for our side of the table, not just for him, he gave me a one word response. Spicy! Turns out he took a slice of raw garlic and dipped it into the chili sauce. Fortunately, he tried the garlic again sans chili sauce and I got this shot!

Trying something new.

The something new...garlic dipped in chili sauce.

Our next stop was at a Korean History Museum. While I would love to come back and visit this museum with Bill, today was not the day I wanted to experience it. I knew that a two and a half hour bus ride, a somewhat quiet event like picking strawberries, another 20 minute bus ride, an hour sit down lunch, 15 more minutes on the bus, a two year old boy, and a history museum at nap time would be a disastrous combination, so I opted to stay outside with the kids and let them run. Fortunately we stumbled upon a great playground area with beautiful cherry blossoms in full bloom. The kids ran and played and I took pictures. It was a winning combination and everyone (museum patrons included) was much happier! If you ever get the opportunity to visit the city of Nonsan, this is a must see area. Filled with grassy hills (okay I had to use a little imagination with this one as the grass is just starting to come back here), mountains, and beautiful lakes, it is a place we will be sharing with Daddy.

We boarded the bus once again and headed to the strawberry festival. First I have to say that I am glad we didn't go on a weekend, though I am sure it would have been fun. I could just envision it packed with people, but Friday afternoon it was a nice place to be. I wish we had more than an hour there, but now that I have been, we may head back on our own for next year's event.

A table filled with all sorts of seaweed. The kids tried dried, salted seaweed at the restaurant, but were not big fans.

Anywhere there was shade there were Korean ladies and their children painting. I also think these were the children of people involved in working the festival. Virtually every square inch of shaded ground was covered with these talented young painters and the shade went down the middle of long rows lined with vendors. The weather was perfect and it was so nice to see what a different culture does with their time. Looks like art has a very heavy influence here.

This little guy was absolutely mesmerized by my children. We were pretty far away from the towns that are used to having American around, so we were definitely a novelty. He stood perfectly still, just staring for at least a minute and a half as he stopped in our path until his mom came for him. I wonder how long he would have stood there soaking in the differences in our children.

These dresses were on display throughout the festival.

Entertainment from the stage.

There are some more great pictures of the kids in the photo gallery, so pop on over there if you have time and check them out. Hopefully I will be able to carve out a bit more time to blog our other recent adventures. You would be amazed if you knew how long the process takes!